| The cows | | There were two cows in a paddock, enjoying the sun and eating some grass. The first cow said "Moo."And the second cow said "That's funny, I was just about to say that." ...Read more | | | | Too Young | | When my wife went in the hospital for surgery several years ago, a rule prohibited children under 12 from visiting patients. Our 11-year-old seemed to understand, but our six-year-old took the restriction very hard.We discovered why she was so unusually upset when we heard her talking to her mother on the phone for the first time. As she said goodbye, she tearfully exclaimed, "I'll see you when I'm 12, mom!" ...Read more | | | | The student and the teacher | | This little boy was at school one day and had to use the bathroom really bad. So he raised his hand and told the teacher he had to use the bathroom really bad. She said ok well let me hear your ABC'S first so he started saying them" A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K,L,M,N,O,,Q,R,S,T,U,V,W,X,Y and Z and the teacher said that's great but where's the P at he said it's running down my leg! ...Read more | | | | Coming for Thanksgiving |
A man in Phoenix calls his son in New York the day before Thanksgiving and says,"I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing; forty-five years of misery is enough ...Read more | | | | Why am I tired |
The population of this country is about 237 million.
104 million are retired.
That leaves 133 million to do the work.
There are 85 million in school, which leaves 48 million to do the work.
Of this there are 29 million employed by the federal government, leaving 19 million to do the work.
2.8 million are in the Armed Forces, which leaves 16.2 million work.
Take from the total the 14,800,000 people who work for State and City Governments and that leaves 1.4 million to do the work.
At any given time there are 188,000 people in hospitals, leaving 1,212,000 to do the work.
Now, there are 1,211,998 people in prisons.
That leaves just two people to do the work.
You and me.
And you're sitting at your computer reading jokes...
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